


Parma

by djinnj



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life, Slice of ham
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 02:33:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19122802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djinnj/pseuds/djinnj
Summary: This is just a bit of post-Season 3 fluff, and mostly Theo for that matter. Theo and trivia.





	Parma

_"What are you doing to me, Al? We've been coming to you since practically before I was born. I can just imagine the next time my parents call. "Oh Ma, why you want to visit so bad? Miss the grandkids? NO. Al sold us fake meat."_

Foggy blinked at Theo as he pushed through the staff door backwards with a takeout coffee tray, his briefcase, and a box of mangoes. Karen leapt forward from where she had been blatantly eavesdropping to help him with his precious caffeinated cargo, retrieving her order while she was at it.

"Sure? You think I'm going to send it back when I'm not sure? It's fake, Al, coun-ter-FEET. You think I don't know what the real seals look like? Yeah, yeah, sounds all great and legit Italian when you say it, but it's still not the real deal." Theo pulled back, muttering _Consorzio Prosciutto di Parma_ in a heavy New York and not-at-all-Italian accent while viciously tapping at his phone. "... There, tell me what you see. Yeah. Yeah! You better believe it's wrong. That's what I've been saying!"

"What's going on?" Foggy asked Karen quietly, as he pulled his own cup from the carrier. She rolled her lips together and looked torn between laughter and concern. 

"I just got here, but apparently, counterfeit prosciutto is a thing." 

"Oh boy," Foggy said. "Yeah, that's like, huge. I can't believe Al would do that."

"What, no, really?"

"Hell, yeah, that stuff is porcine gold. Worth its weight, and all that. You do _not_ want to know how much food gets counterfeited."

"Ugh," she grimaced. "That sounds so much worse than a knockoff handbag." 

Theo dropped into a seat and pulled the coffee tray over, glancing at the two remaining cups for his own. "Yeah, I'll tell 'em. Let me know, and I'll keep an eye out for it. Thanks." He hung up and rubbed the back of his head. "He's going to check the entire inventory and refill the order himself. Should be here in the afternoon, depending." 

"Depending?" Karen asked. 

"Depending on whether they have any of the real thing. He's got to figure out when they came in, too, and check with his other customers, but he's sending us ours first even if a bigger order is screwed. He figures he owes us for catching it."

"Does he know how it happened?"

"No, but he said he has to figure out if his nephew is an idiot or if he's embezzling. I'm not sure what he thinks is the better case situation. Either way, it's a shit sandwich." He groaned and cracked his neck before taking a prolonged gulp of his coffee. "If he can't meet the order, I guess the house cured ham is on special this week. Distract 'em from the last of the parma we have until it shakes out. Oh hey, your coffee's here. Find anything?" Theo addressed this last to Matt, who entered from the direction of the walk-in. Foggy made a _what am I, chopped liver?_ gesture to Karen who snorted a laugh.

Matt slipped out of Theo's jacket, trading it for his coffee cup. "You overestimate my ability to sniff out fake meat.... That sounded wrong."

"It really does, buddy," Foggy laughed, "but, I assume by Theo putting you to work that you were the one who found the fake ham."

"He was coming in when Nicki came by with the order and just sort of stopped by the back of the truck and said it smelled off. And it's like, dude, this stuff's aged for over a year, it's supposed to smell that way. But it made me look twice, you know, and that's when I spotted the fake seals." Theo said, standing up and slapping Matt's shoulder on his way out front. "Just for that, you get a house special hero, the works, on the house."

"With house cured ham?" Matt grinned.

"With house cured ham. And if you want one, Foggy," Theo cut off his brother, "you can make it yourself. Only one hero here today."

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know that there was a scandal regarding Parma ham being made from pigs that had been secretly cross bred from a forbidden pig stock? They take those Geographical Indications veeeery seriously.
> 
> Ignorance is bliss when it comes to fraudulent food, and you really don't want to know how much seafood is counterfeit.


End file.
